The River
by let me lie to myself
Summary: James wants to know what a kiss is like, he wants to try it with Sirius... They find so much more. SLASH... also they are underage by rather a lot so dont read if that offends. not graphic.
1. Chapter 1

James Potter sat staring into the water of their secret river; Sirius sat beside him wondering what he was looking at.

"Sirius?' James asked toying with a stick he had picked up earlier.

"Yeah?"

"I was wondering…" Sirius looked up to see James blush

"What?"

"Well next year we start at Hogwarts" James stared purposefully down at the stick "and well, I was just wondering… have you ever kissed anyone?" James' blush deepened

Sirius laughed

"James, that's silly you know I would have told you if I did" Sirius said laying back on the rock they where sitting on. The bright afternoon sun was warming him and the sound of the water trickling past was sending him into a pleasant lull.

"Why did you ask?' asked Sirius as he began to wonder where the question had come from.

James was now tracing patterns with his stick on the rock. Dipping it in the river then drawing intricate patterns across his makeshift canvas. Sirius couldn't see what it was James was drawing but he knew it would be beautiful everything James drew was.

"I…" James paused again the blush resurfaced "Do you ever wonder what it would be like?" Sirius sat up, this was obviously something that was important to James he was only ever this serious about things that where. He creased his brow and thought it over.

"Sometimes I guess, I saw Narcissa kissing her boyfriend the other day" James frowned at this and Sirius laughed "I know the thought of Narcissa kissing is pretty gross" James laughed, but again the humor didn't last long the thoughtful frown was quick to return.

"James, please just tell me what's on your mind" Sirius said when the silence became too much for him.

James blushed again but he nodded

"I was just thinking, maybe we could try it," he mumbled looking back down into the water

"Sure" Sirius said wondering why James had been so worried about asking him. James looked up surprised "Really" his expression was hopeful and it made Sirius smile.

"Of course" Sirius said grinning. "But are you sure you want to kiss me? I mean it probably wont work properly because we're both guys" Sirius said as a warning, he himself didn't have a single problem with kissing James but maybe James hadn't really thought it through.

James nodded quickly "I don't mind that you're a boy" he said quickly "I'm sure it will work" he added after a second

"Okay" Sirius said sliding a little closer "But do you want me to kiss you first or what?"

James thought this through for a minute then nodded "You seem to know more about it then I do" he commented

Sirius nodded and licked his lips; James saw and did the same.

"Okay, close your eyes" Sirius ordered shuffling closer still until they where sitting side by side. James obeyed his hazel eyes fluttering shut and then he waited.

Sirius looked at his friend for a minute admiring the other boy's face then quickly, impulsively he leaned in and touched their lips together. Fire rushed through him; the warmth emitted from the smaller boy was amazing. Sirius wanted more, he could remember seeing his Narcissa's boyfriend suck on her lips. He tried taking James' bottom lip in between his and massaging it between them sucking lightly. James gasped and Sirius pulled away.

"Are you okay, was that not good?" Sirius asked quickly, worried he had hurt his friend. But James quickly shook his head

"No it was… it was" James blushed "It felt good"

Sirius blushed too this time

"Would you like to try again?" he asked timidly

James nodded and leaned in slightly, Sirius leant in too and their lips once again met. This time Sirius didn't hesitate to move his lips against the other's. He gently eased his lips over James' the way he had seen and he was delighted when James timidly began to reciprocate. After a moment a stroke of inspiration hit Sirius and he slid his tongue out between his own lips to flit softly over James' the boy gasped but he didn't pull away, instead he moved closer opening his mouth to the other boy allowing Sirius' tongue to enter his mouth. Their tongues met and both boys gasped. The sensation was like electricity but it was good and neither wanted to stop… so they didn't until lack of oxygen was becoming a real problem. They pulled back gasping for breath looking into each other's eyes. James noticed the way Sirius' pupils where dilated, huge with nearly no color at all. He wondered if his looked the same. Sirius was marveling at how full and swollen James' lips where now. For some reason he felt sad that they had stopped and there was something about the heat building in his belly that made him want to do more… a lot more.

This time he didn't ask he wrapped an arm around James' waist to pull him closer then kissed him. Harder, faster his tongue sliding between the others soft, damp lips almost instantly. James instinctively wrapped his arms around Sirius neck. It felt so good their mouths melding together their bodies pressed tight together as though they could become one.

Sirius was amazed this seemed so much better then anyone had ever let on, kissing James was the best thing he had ever felt in his life and the more he did it the better it got. On an impulse he pulled the smaller boy into his lap, a moan slipped from his lips, the fire in his belly had just increased tenfold. James butt sliding against his groin had sent waves of pleasure up through his body. James lifted himself a little and for a second Sirius thought he was about to climb off again but their lips never parted and all James did was move so he had a leg either side of Sirius' hips.

James was staring to feel strange, his body was hot, twitchy and aching but in a really good way. When Sirius had pulled him into his lap he had been surprised to feel a lump below him, as he brushed against it Sirius let out a low moan into his mouth that sent a wave of fire straight between James' legs. James knew roughly how sex worked, but he hadn't realized he would be able to have any affect on Sirius at all and he definitely didn't think he would end up this way. But his body was in control now craving more, far more then he was getting. He sat up a little so he could kick his leg over Sirius so he was sitting on the other boy's crotch. He wanted to make Sirius feel good. He shifted his hips experimentally brushing his butt over the hardening lump in his friend's pants. Sirius moaned again and his fingers dug into James' hips. James found he had moaned to, it felt good the hardness rubbing against him, and Sirius' stomach just brushing against his own hardening lump.

Sirius pulled away and for a second a prong of panic went through James but Sirius' lips just fastened onto James' neck instead. The smaller boy threw his head back and moaned and then ground his butt against the boy enjoying the separate forms of pleasure he got from it. Not to mention the affect Sirius' moans had on him. James couldn't think of a reason to stop so he kept moving grinding down against the other boy's crotch each time grinding himself against the other boy's stomach. The heat, the pleasure was building and the movements had became automatic James didn't think that he could stop now if he wanted to.

Sirius had begun to meet each move he made craving the contact just as much as James but it wasn't enough he needed more, more contact, more friction. Without thinking he pushed forward until James was on his back Sirius lying on top of him James' legs encircling the other boy's hips. They moved as one fiercely grinding, rubbing, kissing, and sucking. It was so much James couldn't believe he could feel so much at once. There was an intense pressure building inside him that he knew couldn't last. Their frantic movements quickened even more. Building, building…

Something inside James seemed to explode he cried out it was so beautiful and powerful so pleasurable his vision went dark. All that was left was the pleasure and Sirius clinging to him.

When the world returned Sirius had his head against James' chest he was breathing hard lying across the boy. Sirius raised his head and their eyes met. Neither could quite account for the flood of emotion that immersed them as they looked into the other's eyes. But it was there beautiful and all consuming. Sirius rolled off James but only to pull the other boy into his arms. So they lay there, neither knowing quite what this would mean but neither caring because what they had just tasted was divine.

_**i'm not sure wether to write more for this... it can be a oneshot for now**_

_**let me know what you think **_


	2. Chapter 2

James sighed pulling his blankets tighter around himself, it was a bitterly cold evening and despite the heating in the dormitory James lay awake and shivering. The cold always seemed to seek him out so that it could burrow deep into his bones, James hated the cold, he hated the way it made his hands turn purple, he hated the way his body quaked almost uncontrollably, and he hated that no one else seemed to notice the cold anywhere near as much as he did. But most of all James hated the thoughts that plagued his mind on nights like this where sleep was nowhere to be found and the howling of the wind was too erratic to distract him; thoughts of his best friend, thoughts of Sirius Black.

They had never spoken about the incident by the river both silently agreeing to pretend it had never happened. James wasn't really sure why, he didn't think there was anything wrong with what they had done, though he now knew it was incredibly rare to have your first sexual experience at such a young age and with a boy none the less. But they had, and their friendship had remained strong. They had gained new friends at Hogwarts but those friendships weren't as strong as what was between them and James knew they never would be; because James remembered the feel of Sirius' lips against his own and the intense pleasure that had been the result of their lovemaking. That was the way he thought about it on nights like this when he lay on his side curled in on himself to ward off the cold, bed curtains pulled apart just enough to reveal Sirius sleeping across from him, bed curtains wide open, blankets half falling off him. James knew he was in love with his best friend, but most of the time he could forget it and just bask in the warmth of Sirius' attention.

The only other person who knew about James' predicament was Lilly Evans a Gryffindor from their year. He hasn't meant to tell her but she had found him one icy morning crying alone in an alcove overlooking the lake. It had all flooded out as she held him gently in her arms, how he wished Sirius could love him and how badly he loved Sirius. She had rocked him until his tears stopped then told him that she still thought he was a jerk but she would be there anytime he needed to talk. Strangely James had taken her up on the offer seeing her the morning after nearly every cold night confiding in her the thoughts he wished he could just banish from his mind, it seemed to help a little.

Sirius had asked him many times where he was going so frequently and even followed him a few times but he had never found out the truth about James' regular disappearances. Lilly had eventually suggested he pretend to have a crush on her so that Sirius wouldn't become overly suspicious. This had seemingly worked like a charm, which made James both relieved and sad. The bed creaked as he forced himself to turn away; James bit his lip and screwed his eyes shut tight.

The morning dawned just as James felt into bliss oblivion…

"Jamie!" Sirius hollered in his ear shaking his shoulder

James' eyes felt as though they had been cemented shut but he forced them open to stare blearily back at three pairs of eyes. Peters where drifting away already having found something more interesting to gaze upon, Remus' where wide with concern but warm and gentle at the same time just like Remus himself and Sirius' eyes which held the same careless mischievousness and joy for life that Sirius seemed unable to suppress. Those eyes where the only thing that got James going these mornings, he groaned and rolled from bed gathering his clothes.

"Another cold night" Remus murmured his voice laced with genuine sympathy

James nodded and escaped to the bathroom to get ready, he'd have to hurry if he was going to make breakfast and he knew that his friends would wait for him and therefore miss it themselves if he didn't. Well Peter would probably head down himself but Peter was food obsessed so he hardly found that surprising.

Lilly caught James' eye as they entered the hall, the small smile she offered warmed him. Lilly always had a way of making him feel better, she was refreshingly honest with him, a bit like Sirius in that way, but that was pretty much where the semblance ended, Lilly was neat, orderly, attentive in class, and kind to all. Though she could admittedly be quite harsh to those who where being other then kind themselves. Sirius was mischievous, erratic and wicked in a way that was positively Slytherin at times (though James would never have said that to Sirius of course). But he was also fiercely loyal, that was one of the things James adored about Sirius, it didn't matter what he did wrong Sirius would forgive him in a heartbeat, without a single thought.

The day dragged on for James at a pace that would have frustrated a snail, his mind seemed to be unable to drag itself away from Sirius, it didn't help that Sirius seemed to be extra friendly today sitting next to him all day and hanging his arm around James' shoulders as they walked between classes. James didn't get a chance to talk to Lilly until later that evening, she had announced to her friends that she was going to the library and didn't need company loud enough for the whole common room to hear, James made a hasty retreat after her, trying not to frown at the catcall Sirius sent after him.

Lilly was waiting at their usual table a large book open before her, she didn't look up as he walked towards her and for a minute James wondered if she had honestly come to study.

"You going to stand there all night?" she demanded quashing those thoughts

He slipped into the chair opposite hers and let his head drop into his hands on the table. He stayed that way for a minute, then sighed looking up at her. Her face was gentle and open, James had to fight the urge to jump over the table and hug her just to make himself feel better.

"So did you get any sleep last night?" Lilly asked flicking through the book without looking at the pages.

James shrugged "A little"

Lilly nodded, a frown spread slowly across her features. Suddenly her hand snaked out and slammed the book shut. "James you can't go on like this, it's not healthy"

James just stared at her blankly for a moment the rose from his seat walking towards the exit; he stopped for a moment without turning around. "I know" he muttered and left. He knew he should have stayed but he couldn't, her words had rang to true.

That night James again lay in his bed shivering from the bitter cold fighting the urge to roll over and watch Sirius. But he couldn't anyway; Sirius wasn't sleeping yet for some reason. James could hear him tossing and turning in a way he never did whilst asleep. After a while things quietened down a little and James though Sirius' must have been dozing off, but then the distinct sound of Sirius bounding out of bed snapped James to a very keen state of awareness. His heart thudded painfully loud in the stillness of the night.

"Jamie?" it was quiet and a little hesitant which was strange because Sirius was never hesitant. James considered pretending he was asleep for a moment but his traitorous mouth wouldn't let him.

"Yes?"

Sirius seemed to take this as an invitation to draw back the curtains at the side

"You can't sleep because you're cold, right?"

James nodded unsure where Sirius was headed with this.

"Okay" Sirius declared pulling back the covers and diving into bed beside James pulling the curtain closed behind him. James was too shocked to move, especially when Sirius wrapped his arms around him pulling him tight against his body.

"Better?" Sirius asked after a moment

James, unable to speak managed a small nod. He was sure he would never sleep now, not here pressed against Sirius' body and it's furnace like heat but somehow in less then a minute James Potter was sound asleep his shivering ceasing as he buried his face in the warmth of Sirius neck. That night he dreamt of the River.

_**Hey sorry this has taken so long! A lot of you said you wanted this to be more then a one shot and i was kind of thinking about it but then i received a review from SWEETER which made me realize you REALLY wanted me to continue this lol. Hope you enjoyed it!**_


End file.
